Tuesday, April 26, 2011

If I could, I would be a Christian, but I cannot...

The wind is increasing until it blows a gale. I do not venture upon the deck [of the steamer Wairarapa]. I feel glad to keep still....

I was lifting up my heart to God for Christ, who stilled the tempest, to say “Peace, be still.”

All at once the rainbow spanned the heavens. I could see the signs of God’s promise in the bow in the clouds, and I was resting in confidence in His protecting arms....

The lady in waiting [i.e., stewardess nurse] is very kind to me. I gave her Steps to Christ and some papers and pamphlets. I talked with her in regard to her soul’s salvation. I pointed out the perils of anyone whose life was on the sea. She said she had thought of this ofttimes, but she said, “If I could, I would be a Christian, but I cannot. It would be an impossibility to serve God on such a vessel as this. You do not know, you cannot have any idea of the wickedness of these sailors. The captain and mates are so closely of the same character with the crew of sailors that they have no influence to introduce reform, if they desired such a thing.” I asked why she did not seek some other employment. She said, “It would be no use. I have four children to support and I have not strength to do hard work.” She was a small, delicate, fine-featured woman....

I tried to open before her the danger of living a prayerless life. She said, “It is no use to pray here, or try to be religious.” I told her if the Lord had appointed her that place she would, if she would accept Christ as her Saviour, realize Christ as her refuge. She said, with tears in her eyes, “It is impossible. I know the company on this ship. I could not live religion here. I hope some time to have some place opened for me where I can support my family, and then I shall give my attention to serious things. If I could only be with my children and support them in a humble way I would only too gladly choose to do so.”
—Manuscript 88, December 19, 1893,, diary, en route to Sydney, Australia, from New Zealand. TDG 362


In sincerity, in soul hunger, cry after God. Wrestle with the heavenly agencies unill you have the victory. Pr 114



And if it seems evil to you to serve the LORD, choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the River, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you dwell. But as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD.” Joshua 24:15 (New King James Version)